Sweet balance

Some days I probably fold too much laundry and Connor probably watches too much Dora. But other days... other days we pack up at 8am and head to the beach, we sink our toes into the hot sand and we let ice cream drip from our chins into our laps. Its days like these that I live for. Its days like these where I know I am doing everything in my power to make memories for my baby and I know I am being totally present for him. Do days with too much laundry and Dora happen? Yes. Do I like it? No. But I can live with those days because the beach days, the park days, the pool days and the finger paint days are there to even it all out. It's that sweet balance that keeps us all happy.

We went to the beach for the first time as a family last summer when Connor was just able to sit up by himself and it was just too hot. It was too hot and he was too little and all he did was try to eat the sand! Haha. So this was our first time at the beach this year, just Connor and mama, and now that he's this one and a half year old running, smiling, crazy kid I was so excited to see how he reacted to the whole thing. He absolutely loves the water and I didn't need to take him to the beach to know that but the beach is a different experience with the sand and salt and waves and he handled it like a pro! He knew he needed to hold my hand and with that security he let the waves smack him in the face and he would stumble, stand back up, laugh and then prepare for the next one. So, we jumped waves, we played in the sand, had sandwiches for lunch and chocolate ice cream for dessert. He's never had an enormous chocolate soft serve cone like that before and he thoroughly enjoyed eating it and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him eat it.

 (his blankie and Foofa made it along for the trip)

(now where did I put Brobee?)

(open wide baby!)

I am soaking up these moments with him. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Getting to stay home with him has been such a blessing and I wish every mom had the opportunity to do this. Everyone has a different situation and I would never pass judgment on how any other mom has to do things but there is just something so magical about being with them all the time; not missing a single smile, giggle or kiss.

He's in bed, pooped from a long day and I am not far behind him. Curt is waiting for me to finish so we can watch some of our shows before bed so goodnight for now and soak up your babies if they are still awake, kiss them a thousand times over.

-jenn

Here's to being stupid...

Sometimes life makes us choose between creating the memory and capturing it. Unfortunately, we can't always do both. I was forced to make this decision last night when Connor and I had an impromptu banshee run through the park across the way from our house. It was beautiful out; cool enough for pajama pants and hoodies but we rocked our bare feet in the wet, cold grass. I have to admit I have one of the happiest little boys you'll ever meet but he lit up that evening, like even I hadn't seen. He just ran, here and there, he chased me and I chased him. We ran and laughed and giggled like crazy and I was soaking him up, his little blonde curls blowing in the cool evening breeze. As he smiled I had to make that choice; stop, drag him back to the house, get the camera and pray he wants to play again... Or enjoy him now, miss capturing it but get to have that memory forever? I chose to enjoy him... So, I don't have any fantastic pictures from that night I am sorry to say but I plan on making this evening run in the park a habit so I hope to capture this beautiful little boy, who is all mine, running and laughing like a banshee soon enough.

We then retreated to the shower since we had dirt all over our piggies :) He sat on my lap in the hot shower while I washed his hair and I was just overcome with love. Overcome with disbelief that I could have ever been blessed with this little piece of heaven who loves me unconditionally like nobody else in the whole world. It's funny what pops into your head when you're emotional; I was sitting there, again, just soaking him up and all that came to my head was that song:


I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
You've got, the most unbelievable
blue eyes I've ever seen 


And you can laugh but I just started singing it to him. Love is the ability to be stupid; whether it's singing to your little soapy headed boy in the shower, giggling in bed with your husband or having a blonde moment on the phone with a friend... If you can't let yourself go enough to just be stupid then you don't deserve to love.. and deserving or not, if you can't be stupid you're never gonna have it anyway. I love what love does to me, love makes me stupid and I am stupid for love!


I don't have the strength to write about today, not right now at least.. yeah, it's been one of those. But, amidst all the drama and stress of today I am reminded of what wonderful people I have in my life who care about me. I have the best husband and best friend a girl could ask for both of which saved the day for me today, dunno what I would do without them :)

I am going to leave you with my first stream of pictures, they are random since like I said I didn't get any pictures from our run last night but I think you'll enjoy them just the same. I dunno who couldn't enjoy my little ray of sunshine.

 

-jenn